I Zone Out











{August 20, 2009}   Kitty Genovese

In Brooklyn, I witness a criminal act of violence. I am at a red light in my Altima. A young man and a young woman attack each other 15 feet from my window. The man pins the woman to the ground. I look further past them and notice a dark alley. Is he going to rape her? Is he going to drag her down the street and rape her? I call the police. I immediately tell the 911 receptionist the street corner and that a man is attacking a woman. She asks if I’m safe and I tell her I’m in my car. I lock my doors but keep my eyes peeled on the sight. The woman flails her arms and hits the man. She stands up! She runs two paces before he grabs her from behind and throws her back on the ground. He pins her down again. Her stomach and face are pressed against the dirty cement and he holds her arms tight behind her.

Three cars slowly pass me. They drive in the opposite direction as me. They each pause when they near the violence. I watch a taxi driver slow his car and turn his head toward the man and woman. I watch him drive away without doing anything at all. I watch the other two cars do the same. The light turns green.

She kicks and fights her way out of his control. She sprints away from him. He chases her. She runs fast. I pull a U-turn. I follow behind him so I can watch the both of them. “Does he have a weapon?” “Not that I can see.” She runs and runs… He gets so close to her but then stops. He hunches over. His hands rest on his waist and he takes deep breathes. She doesn’t stop. I speed up. “Hold on…” I tell the receptionist. I roll down my window. “Do you need help?!!!” The young woman turns her head towards me and yells, “No, thanks… I’m good!” I see the young man approaching her through my rear-view mirror. I follow her as she runs and runs. She’s fast. He doesn’t catch up. I see sirens and can finally hang up the phone though my hands shake so bad.

Maybe they were a couple? Maybe she wronged him… maybe it was drug related? Whatever the hell it was, I am so glad I was there… because it’s so much better to be safe and call the police. Who the hell knows what would have happened to that woman?

This story reminds me of Kitty Genovese. KittyGenovese.JPGShe was a 28-year-old woman who was stabbed, raped, and murdered outside her Queens’ place in the 60s. There were a dozen witnesses who heard her screaming from their apartment windows, and nobody did anything at all. They all assumed somebody else would call the police  (wikipedia).

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My lesson to you, folks, is this… If you see something sketchy, call the cops. You can even make it anonymous. Don’t feel embarrassed and don’t think you’re overreacting. Don’t assume somebody else is doing it.



{August 20, 2009}   Pussy Power

To all you ladies who get hollered at. To all you men who holler at a bitch.images-2

As much as I love hearing, “damnnn!” when I walk down the street, it pisses me off royally. Because I feel judged. I’d like to think I could walk around and do my thing without my appearance being judged. But for women, this is impossible. If I am scrubbed out and lookin’ not-so-perty (particularly on Sunday morning hangover days), I’m probably being judged by men rather than going unnoticed (which I’d prefer).

Because of this, I am constantly aware that I am a sexual being. Because of this, I feel like I need to wear makeup, look skinny, and wear the best possible outfit at all times.

It’s not insecurity. It’s more of a forced awareness of my physical self. And this is what pisses me off about being a women.

Of course, I could use this to my advantage… I could use my body to get basically anything I want… free drinks, a job, a boyfriend, free shit… But that would be pussying out. It would be way too easy.

I guess we ladies should accept this shitty situation as a challenge…  looking good is so much more empowering with the brains to back you up.



{August 20, 2009}   Human Mating

Is it abnormal that when I meet a man, I wonder if I’m only attracted/repulsed/neutral because of my species’ evolutionary need to spread the seed?

flirting-no

If I feel sexually attracted to a man, or emotionally attracted for that matter, I wonder if my biology will work with his… Maybe his pheromones lured me to him.. maybe he’s more likely than other men to get me knocked up, so to say.

I assume others have an off switch to this train of thought but I can never get this concept out of my head! It makes things very strange! When I get hit on, for example, I should wonder “normal” things like, “how much money does he make,” “what kind of car does he drive,” “how big is his man piece?” Instead, I wonder if he’s only hitting on my because I’m fertile… Would he hit on me at a different time of the month?



{August 20, 2009}   I don’t like you, either

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Do you dislike people who dislike you? I do. I guess it’s my ego’s defense mechanism. If I hear someone hates me, I naturally hate that person right back. It’s easier to deflect my pained ego by focusing on the person’s flaws than to accept that I may not be as cool, nice, and interesting as I want to believe I am!



et cetera
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